A Norman Rockwell Christmas

pictures: The only decor I got up, Keller turning off the movie, the boys armed and dangerous and jumping off the stairs

A CHRISTMAS MOMENT

I have been a seasoned enough parent to have very low expectations when planning "fun family time" (or forced family fun as my family called it). I decided tonight we would have our first annual "white family christmas party." We would make gingerbread cookies (a sure hit due to the recent obsession w the gingerbread man), have a fire, and watch the classic Rudolph the Rednose Reindeer, while mother dearest decorated the house w tidings of comfort and joy....

I made the cookie dough during the boys naps. When they arose, i covered our kitchen table with flour, gave them each a ball of dough and told them to pound it hard so we could use the gingerbread man cookie cutter. Keller did get into this part, but kept trying to make the cookie with about a 4 inch high dough ball, Coleman on the other hand, apparently thought I had gathered a pile of poop for him to play in because he would not even touch it. He kept saying "i dont like that, noooooo, i dont like that, get it away!" Keller eventually lost interest in the cutting, and decorating the gingerbread men could not compete with actually getting to eat the craisons (buttons).

After dinner, we got out the decorations. The one obnoxious-loud-song-dancing item we had, was a huge hit...until 1/2 way through the first round of jingle bells, it died. We changed the batteries (twice) to no avail... the boys were most upset by this and could not understand why we could not fix the "decoration."

ok, time for the movie...cookies in the oven, we begin the movie. This holds Keller's interest for about 3 minutes, Coleman about 48 seconds. However, they did love the cookies. So much, that Coleman decided he needed to hoard them all while Keller screamed bloody murder "he stooooooooole my cooooooooooooooooookie." Coleman proceeded to give Keller the loot and held onto his cookie, licking it for 30 minutes (not kidding)...this only added to Keller's torture as he had finished his in 30 seconds.

Halfway through the movie, that at this point only Jeremy was watching, I decide to be productive and start decorating. This is when both boys grabbed my gold sticks, declared them swords...and well, there goes the rest of the night. Not even Christmas can compete with a good sword fight. The boys jumped off the stairs, screaming, and waving their "swords". This was longest most loved activity of the night....

I can't help but wonder, if I had two girls, instead of two boys, if we would still all be curled up by the fire, sweetly and quietly watching the Christmas show...I guess i'll never know. Life is certainly non-stop with these two boys but watching them love life in their own boy way, is the best "Christmas moment" I could hope for.

Election Morning Predictions

the wound, the weapon

 
 

Tongue Clippers

To my three loyal blog readers...sorry it has been so long since I've written...it's been a slow,long three months, but I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel...

So, a couple of days ago, I was tired of the boys fighting, tired of having Jeremy gone on the weekends, and just tired in general...then we discovered "tongue clippers." Tongue clippers are actually just metal tongs, but Keller for some reason declared them "tongue clippers"....and the name stuck. Bored of real toys in the playroom,the boys discovered (with my help...ok- really I handed them to them) the tongs. It really was the longest-played-with-non-fighting toy they had in ages. The best part is that I actually had two, so they werent forced to learn to share every two minutes. They would tongue clip the carpet in the play room(translation: pick up dust mites from carpet nasty), tongue clip random toys and put them in piles (translation: pick up toys from the selection of 50 on the floor and move them from one pile that would not be picked up to another pile that would not be picked up), and even wanted to sleep with the tongue clippers- they each separately asked to do this...here, I did draw the line.

Last night, with Coleman on my lap tongue clipping blocks, and Keller tongue clipping small books suddenly I see this flash of metal and feel a pain in the middle of my forehead. Coleman had missed a block, arm swung up and cut me with the top of the tongs...ouch! I immediately assess my wound and determine a butterfly bandaid should do the trick, I was suprised at how deep it was. As I am scurrying around trying to heal myself Keller and Coleman are both screaming...not because mommy dearest has been wounded...but because in about 2.25 seconds after the incident, I managed to declare our house "tongue clipper free" and replaced the tongs back where they belong...in a kitchen drawer. They were soon distracted however, by the butterfly bandaide placed vertically down the smack dab center of my forehead...our dialogue the rest of the night went something like this:

Coleman: what happened Mommy?
Me: you know what happened.
Coleman: tongue clippers Mommy.
Keller: now Mommy took them away but maybe we'll get more, right Mommy?

one minutes later

Coleman: What happened Mommy?
Me: you know what happened.....

anyways, you get the point- I certainly did...right in my forehead.

Funny faces

Sometimes, nothing is funnier than a smashed face. I found the boys mashing their faces against the mesh in coleman's pack and play. Of course, the more I laughed the greater the performance got. I remember my sister and I hard-core-stomach-ugly-face laughing when we would put panty hose on our heads...perhaps I should pick up a pair of Legs nylons for our next plane ride.

Keys to successful airplane trips w kids: laughter, low expectations, and most importantly LOLLIPOPS!

We just landed about about four hours ago from our beachtrip to texas. Being a seasoned traveler with young children, I have concluded there are some things that are a MUST. They are as follows:

1. LAUGHTER
A sense of humor is a must when traveling with young children. Why should I be surprised when Keller (after being asked for hours at the airport) announces he has to poop as we are taxing so the plane stops moving and waits for him to do business (you should have seen that stare from the stewardess). I wanted to tell her "lady, better to wait 30 seconds than have to clean up the mess on the seat..."
My great idea of bringing crayons on the trip (both boys actually liked them during our trip) ended up Coleman drawing on the barf bag for 1.245 seconds, then screaming bloody murder when I would not let him draw on the tray table.

2. LOW EXPECTATIONS
When I first started travelling with Keller, my expectations were way too high. I pictured him being content in my arms, or when older reading books and coloring. Not so much now. Presently, if no one outside of family is exposed to the boys poop and if we all land and still love each other and want to vacate together...I consider this a truly successful flight.

My expectations for the airlines as well have shifted extremely to the low end. I dont know if it is me or what, but when I was single and married without kids...all my flights were ontime, taxing for 45 minutes was unheard of, i dont recall ever hearing "well folks, looks like we've got about 25 planes ahead of us for take off...," and the beverage and snack option was enjoyable. Now, I expect delays on at least one of our flights, taxing for hours is a definite, and the beverage is me shot-gunning my water before little hands can get to it.

3. LOLLIPOPS
I caved...bring on the sugar is my song on days of travel. You want a lollipop kid? here, take 14. This was hands down the best part of my day. Both boys with "pops" in hands and mom relaxing for the first time all day.

number two times two

This past weekend, Jeremy's youngest brother, Andy, FINALLY decided to join us wiser ones down the marriage journey. The White clan gathered in Greenville,SC to celebrate. We were at a great hotel which the boys LOVED. Friday the guys played golf, which translates into Mommy watches boys all day. We had just finished enjoying playing outside in the 97 degree heat, arrived to our rooms sweaty and tired, ready for afternoon naps. The boys earlier, had discovered this mirrored closet w sliding doors, which they played "cabin" in. Endless minutes of entertainment. I gave each of them a granola bar and they played "cabin" while I got their sleeping arrangements settled. Coleman was also diaper-free (i promise for no more than 2 minutes) bc i was looking for his butt paste. This is when I noticed something on Colemans foot, that looked suspiciously like a granola bar, yet much smoother..hmmmm, not looking good. Upon further inspection, my fear was true. Coleman w granola bar in one hand and smeared poop on a foot...I looked for the treasure and found it in the closet w footprints all over the nasty hotel rug. Ok, I blame myself, I should have know not to leave him bare for even a minute. Unfortunately, I forgot my carpet and steam cleaner that I usually always carry w me on vacation...so I clean up as best I can. In the middle of my cleaning, Keller tells me he has to poop. He just went about an hour ago by himself, so I tell him "go poop then." He leaves then comes back about 20 sec later. Standing no more than 5 yards from me, he tells me again "moooommmmmmy I have to (grunt grunt grunt). By the time I turn around ( I am on my hands and knees cleaning up younger white boy poop) he had not only produced a nice pile about 6 inches high, but thought it would be a good idea to intercept the product with his hand. Basically, by the time I ran over, throwing down coleman's poopy washcloth, his entire hand, butt and leg were COVERED. I immediately throw him in the shower yet the "chunks" (if you will) were so big they would not go down the drain so I am throwing them into the toilet, asking Keller why he did not listen to me, keller is screaming, coleman is...well not sure, forgot about him for the time being...and jeremy is likely somewhere on the 17th hole....I think this fall, I'll be taking up golf.

here are some pics of our days at camp...the dining hall, chapel, and our first attempt at the new climbing tower-keller was more interested in holding the rope:)

 

Pee-pee wanna-be

Keller has mastered "awake" potty training. He still wears diapers during the night, but is GREAT during the day. About a week ago, we were finishing lunch in the dining hall, when he told me he had to pee. I figured since he was a boy, we are in the woods, and our house was two hills away, he could go outside. He asked me "do construction men do this?" hmmmmm.....Well, apparantly this experience was one Keller wanted to repeat daily. There have been many times when I look out the window in the dining hall, and see Keller sprinkling the woods with his love. Now, Coleman wants to do the same thing. Whenever he sees Keller doing this, he'll run up to him, grab his own "area" and say "bruder pee pee, I pee pee, I pee pee."

A couple of days ago, Coleman and I were in the playroom, Keller was still sleeping, when Coleman spotted Keller's underwear in a pile of clean laundry. Coleman brings them to me saying "bruder pee pee, bruder pee" and obviously wants to wear them,so I put them on over his diaper. Something tells me, he'll be easy to pottytrain.

Colorful Language

About a month ago, I was driving solo with the boys to camp when I decided to be a "fun mom" and stop off at the 1/2 way marker Chic-fil-A. Not such a fun mom that I would actually let them get out of the car and play on the playground(quick to the destination was my goal), but fun enough to let them eat a meal that consisted of all brown fried items. This particular chic-fil-a is located off a two lane highway and you can only get to it from one direction without having to do a u-turn. To make a long story short, I somehow missed the turn, and had to turn around at which point I blurt out "dangit!"
Immediately from the back seat, little "dangit dangit dangits" are filling the air. I decide the best solution is to completely ignore Keller. This works for the time being, however over the next couple of weeks, he would insert his new found word every now and then...with no reaction from me.

A couple of weeks ago, at camp, i was making breakfast for the boys. Keller has been in a "watch me mom" stage, which is usually something completely breathtaking like him waving his hand next to his mouth...stunning i know. So I hear "watch me mom" and turn around to see what amazing feat he has accomplished.

"DANGIT DANGIT DANGIT DANGIT DANGIT!" Keller proudly verbalized.
no reaction from mom.
"DANGIT DANGIT DANGIT DANGIT DANGIT!"
okay, enough is enough, let's stop this, i think

me "Keller, big boys DO NOT say dangit." (he is very into doing what big boys do NOT babies)

keller: "do babies say dangit?"
me: "no,mean people say dangit."
uh oh...i knew this was coming...

keller: "but MOMMY said dangit!"

instead of going into flesh vs spirit and how we do what we dont want to do and what we dont want to do we do...i decide to make a simple
"yes, and mommy asked for forgiveness for being mean."

since that conversation, we have been "dangit"- free....good thing I am not into
f-bombs.

C'mon ride that train....that potty train

> Upon our arrival to camp, I decided enough was enough....diapers that is. My primary reason for beginning hard core potty training was the cost of diapers....much more expensive than even the cutest pair of elmo undies.

Day One: all about the reward system. I figured since Keller rarely gets any candy, this would be a super easy bribe. One piece of candy for pee, two for poop. We start the morning out on the potty every ten minutes, wearing the nice tighty whities in between. I guess Keller thought that play time was on the toilet, and pee time was immediately after he left the throne, bc that seemed to be the morning routine. He did pee in his
underware, and the first time he did it, he was very uncomfortable, immediately screaming for me to change him. I thought this was a good thing which could possible lead to less underware accidents. After three hours of being inside, we ventured around our cabin...Keller displaying his lovely eye for fashion as seen in the photos. Still every ten minutes on the potty w my constant verbal review of "if you have that feeling....tell mommy, go to the potty." He could pretty much quote me on this. Once out in nature, Keller had ZERO interest in anything having to do w the potty train. In fact, I left for two minutes, came back and he had not only peed but pooped in his underware and could have cared less. When I began to enlighten him w my potty training wisdom, he looked at me and raised his stick (sorry...staff) and screamed "I AM PHAROAH! THIS IS MY STAFF!!!!!" That's right pharoah...we are going to need some serious divine intervention on this one....

sweet reunion

We made the move to camp! It has been a fairly easy transition from the city to the mountains. We are getting used to being dirty and hot all the time. Last weekend, I took a trip to the beach for a womens retreat w our church back in charlotte. it was an amazing weekend, great time to relax and hang out w friends. It was also alot of driving for me, two hours from camp to charlotte then four hours from charlotte to kiawah. Needless to say, on sunday, i was VERY ready to see my boys. As I was driving into the mountains, i was picturing in my head what our reunion would be like. I knew I would be arriving around dinner time, so i planned on going straight to the dining hall where the camp staff and my family would be. I imagined sweet keller, running across the cafeteria yelling "mommmy, mommy, i missed you and i love you!" coleman (who is more of a momma's boy) would likely due something to the tune of "mommy mommmy mommy" and run and want me to hold him and never let go...ahhh parting is such sweet sorrow....but the reunion sweeter still...

reality:
i pull up to the dining hall and keller is outside w jeremy w a water hose in his hand. I get out of the car.
"Keller-oh I missed you" (advancing toward him)

Keller...blank stare (hello, does he not at least recognize me???)
"keller, come give me a hug"
jeremy: "Keller, give mommy a hug"

slow slow steps, then w a huge wave of emotion shouts " i habe (have) a gun, i habe a gun"

excuse me??? the water-hose-turned-gun was apparently much more exciting than the womans who birthed him arrival.

ok, perhaps i can get a bit more from coleman. I walk into the cafeteria and there is my precious boy sitting in his high chair, we immediately make eye contact and he starts screaming (keep in mind too that this is in front of an audience...50 new camp staff had arrived since i left on friday). I run to him, unstrap him and start hugging him. He in turn squirms out of my arms and yells "daddy daddy daddy" as he starts running around the dining hall....

this sweet reunion is likely bringing tears to your eyes, so i'll stop now...
maybe next time, I'll stay two extra days....and WHY was i in such a rush to get home????

Coleman is talking non-stop, i think he is just trying to catch up w his big brother. About a month ago, i looked over and saw him standing on the table in the den. I told him "coleman, get down." He looked at me with those big eyes and said "why?" I was so stunned that he knew that word that I was speechless. Since then that question seems to follow everything I tell him to do. Initially I started to try to explain "why" to him, then I decided that he is 15mos old and does not need an explanation.

although he knows i am mommy, for some reason he has taken to calling me daddy. when i leave the room, he'll yell "daddy are dooo?" (translation "mommy where are you?") i have told him again and again that i am mommy and he'll say "mommy" until a demand needs to be met, or we are in public...so everyone thinks he is very attached to daddy.

Keller has taken up "construction" in the form of the tape measure. He LOVES it and measures the house, his toys, himself...the other day i was standing in the spot where i spend 90%of my life (in front of the kitchen sink) and i look over my shoulder and see a tape measure spreading the width of my bottom....keller looks up and declares "mommy, that's too big..."....thanks keller, perhaps i should start doing some squats while washing dishes....

More pictures w our personal photographer Hope

Good people to know on a personal level: a pediatrician, an OBGYN, a massage therapist, and a photographer. I was zero for zero until my good friend Hope, decided that she wanted to pursue her photography passion...and here are some of the results of that. We had a great time w her. She took 150 pics so it's hard to narrow down my favorites but here are a few....

there but for the grace of Him

i am aware. aware of my own mess. aware that i will not be the perfect parent. aware that there is no perfect parent and perfection should not be a goal. aware that there will be issues that i will instill in my children that will cause them pain. who can save me from this wretchedness? praise be to God!...i had a friend who is pregnant w her first child ask me to jot down tips or any advice i could give her about parenting. the only thing that i could think of was that having children is like having a mirror lifted up and constantly exposing parts of you that were previously dormant. children will bring out both your best and your worst. revealing the amazing capacity you have for love and the amazing capacity you have for sin. children (like marriage) are a vehicle of redemption. i did not know i was angry until i had kids. It was revealed in my "mirror". I know that God can redeem this in me but man, being exposed hurts. it is much easier to continue to live in the denial of our own sinfulness and hurt in this world. but freedom does not exist there. redemption does not exist there and relationship as we long for does not exist there. i believe one of the best gifts i can give my children is my own sense of self. That ultimately i am more sinful than i dared believed, yet more loved than i dared hope and we are a part of something much bigger than ourselves. so why am i writing this for anyone and everyone to read? honestly, i dont know. it is just one of those thoughtful days....

i'll try for a funny story later on :) or at least some cute pics of the boys

More spring pics...

The boys playing in a box on a rainy day in April
coleman LOVES keller's bike
i caved....note the monogram. no one will wonder whose outfit it is :)

spring pictures

Daddy and the boys. K loves his "army pants"
"where's keller?"

Keller at the lazy 5 ranch, feeding pigs

 

Will...I mean, Coleman

I often wonder if perhaps we should have named Coleman "Will," as he seems to have located and put into use his willful spirit. I also will note, that this could be due to where he falls in the family line...second child. Why would he, for example, be expected to drink from a sippee cup when everyone else uses something different.
I had to laugh the other morning when I caught him in the playroom trying to "put on" his shoes (w footed PJ's). He managed to find his shoes then was stepping on the tops of them simultaneously verbalizing "ahhh ahhhh ahhhh ahhh" which I quickly interpreted as "mom, i need these shoes on or this morning will be a disaster!" So, we put them on, strap him in his highchair then I give him his meal. When he was about 11months old, Coleman decided that this being fed by mom thing was just not working so well for him. So he took over. Usually armed w spoons in both hands, the child will ONLY eat if he can feed himself. If I try to feed him (to speed along the process) he will start shaking his head and repeat "no, no no no no".....sorry for offending you Coleman. So needless to say, meals are so very messy. I give up trying to really clean until after dinner, however by then i am scraping off dried food w my fingernails...nice huh. I have tried to feed him more fingerfoods, however he really is not much into those...i guess they are too clean. Not the sensory experience that yogart and oatmeal are. So here is a typical morning picture of my sweet second son, geared up in his shoes in case he has to dart out of the highchair for an outdoor playing emergency; yogart just beginning to coat him, his pj's and the nasty chair. I remind myself that this child wont go to college wearing his pureed food...as with everything this is a stage to be enjoyed

dallas trip

 
 
 
 

we had a great trip to dallas visiting jeremy's parents and our good friends the ryans. Keller loved the backhoe and thought the helmet was a great addition!
Dan and Linda heated the pool, so the boys were able to spend alot of time in there...which meant less days they were actually bathed in the tub...

cute egocentric world

keller has swim lessons every tuesday at 730PM. why, you may be wondering, does a 2yr old have lessons at that time...well, that would be because his mother forgot to sign him up until past the last minute, and that was the last spot available. It actually has worked out quite nicely, because jeremy takes him while i am home w sleeping coleman. Last night, Keller runs into the house screaming "i'm ober (over) her, i'm ober here!"

me "keller,how was swim lessons?"
keller "i'm ober here, i'm ober here!!!" simultaneously waving his arm frantically.

I looked to jeremy in confusion, awaiting the explanation. Apparantly, Keller has become fascinated with the lacross players that they pass while going to swim lessons. Jeremy told him, they would stop and see them on the way home. After his lesson, Jeremy pulls the car over so they are facing the back of the goal and rolls down the windows to hear the action. The players start to yell "yellow yellow yellow!"- which must be some type of play. Well, Keller looks up in suprise bc he hears "keller, keller , keller!" and tells jeremy "they call for me....I'M OBER HERE! I'M OBER HERE! I'M OBER HERE!" and starts waving his arm to get their attention.

I had to laugh and think how sweet life is when it really could be a reality that an entire lacross team would be shouting your name and this would be totally appropriate and possibly expected:)

Easter Sunday

We had a wonderful Easter Sunday. After church, we went to friends' house for brunch. Four families with two children each. Needless to say, deep meaningful conversation was not the dialogue but we had a great time all the same. I insisted on getting pictures in our "easter best" and this is pretty much what I spent most of the morning saying...

"coleman,look at mommy...coleman, look at mommy, coleman, stop sucking on your arm

and look at mommy.....JEREMY can you stand behind me and do something funny!"

"Keller, do NOT hit your brother, keller i
am serious (me still smiling) coleman laugh

"chaaaaase, keeeeeeller look at mommy (chase chase chase-this is hope,his mom chanting w me), boys,boys,boys look here, boys boys boys...."

"Keller,coleman smile for mommy
c'mon guys one smile, look here
look here, look here,look here"

and this is about as good as it gets.......