number two times two

This past weekend, Jeremy's youngest brother, Andy, FINALLY decided to join us wiser ones down the marriage journey. The White clan gathered in Greenville,SC to celebrate. We were at a great hotel which the boys LOVED. Friday the guys played golf, which translates into Mommy watches boys all day. We had just finished enjoying playing outside in the 97 degree heat, arrived to our rooms sweaty and tired, ready for afternoon naps. The boys earlier, had discovered this mirrored closet w sliding doors, which they played "cabin" in. Endless minutes of entertainment. I gave each of them a granola bar and they played "cabin" while I got their sleeping arrangements settled. Coleman was also diaper-free (i promise for no more than 2 minutes) bc i was looking for his butt paste. This is when I noticed something on Colemans foot, that looked suspiciously like a granola bar, yet much smoother..hmmmm, not looking good. Upon further inspection, my fear was true. Coleman w granola bar in one hand and smeared poop on a foot...I looked for the treasure and found it in the closet w footprints all over the nasty hotel rug. Ok, I blame myself, I should have know not to leave him bare for even a minute. Unfortunately, I forgot my carpet and steam cleaner that I usually always carry w me on vacation...so I clean up as best I can. In the middle of my cleaning, Keller tells me he has to poop. He just went about an hour ago by himself, so I tell him "go poop then." He leaves then comes back about 20 sec later. Standing no more than 5 yards from me, he tells me again "moooommmmmmy I have to (grunt grunt grunt). By the time I turn around ( I am on my hands and knees cleaning up younger white boy poop) he had not only produced a nice pile about 6 inches high, but thought it would be a good idea to intercept the product with his hand. Basically, by the time I ran over, throwing down coleman's poopy washcloth, his entire hand, butt and leg were COVERED. I immediately throw him in the shower yet the "chunks" (if you will) were so big they would not go down the drain so I am throwing them into the toilet, asking Keller why he did not listen to me, keller is screaming, coleman is...well not sure, forgot about him for the time being...and jeremy is likely somewhere on the 17th hole....I think this fall, I'll be taking up golf.