Things only done in my last trimester of pregnancy #3

"who wants to split a milkshake with mommy?"

(in monotone voice watching them physically hurt each other) "stop...stop...stop..."

"well, then hit him harder" (obviously-my response at least 20 x a day)

i've mastered "playing" hide and seek from a sitting position...realized it is more about the reaction i give when they "appear" from their hiding spots. I can certainly verbally get excited when I "find" them, as long as I dont have to get up.

My children are now addicted to Tums due to my severe heartburn w this pregnancy. I dont even try to fight them on it...figured it is good calcium and can count as a vitamin...or candy-take your pick

The boys are OBSESSED with going barefoot...i have seriously turned into that mom at the playground whose kids are barefoot (and i am pregnant). At least they still ask permission to take their shoes off...probably bc they know I will not say no. This has evolved from no shoes to no shirts and a couple of request from Keller to play naked in the backyard. I do draw the line there...but only bc we have neighbors.

The other day I was sitting in the garage (after an intense game of hide n seek) then I see Keller riding by on his scooter in nothing but tighty whities, cowboy boots, and a wet towel over his head. I just had to laugh.

I love these boys.

A Morning at the Lazy 5 Ranch

Party all week long (aka spring break for preschool). Overall, great week with the boys, our big treat was the end of the week heading to the Lazy 5 Ranch. The Lazy 5 Ranch is about 45 minutes away in Moresville, a bunch of kids on a wagon riding through the ranch, feeding all sorts of exotic animals like giraffes, zebras, emus, cows on steroids, and yaks. A great concept. My friend Sarah (who is having her c-section for her 3rd baby in a week), myself (who is exactly 3 weeks away from my baby arriving), our three boys meet other friends out at the ranch for a fun morning of a sensory, tactile, experience that we just can't get in the city. Wagon is set to leave by 9:45am. Keep in mind that I was born without the gene of any type of animal love, they do nothing for me, being a vet would be my nightmare, i would rather be a podiatrist...Sarah is even worse, in her own words "I want to throw up looking at them." All to reiterate who we are doing this outing for...not ourselves:)

8:40: running around the house looking for shoes and getting dressed for the "70 degrees and sunny" weather...hoping to pick up Sarah by now...

9:00: arrive at sarah's. get bradley (her son keller's age) strapped in the van, all lunches, bags, heartburn medicine in tote

9:20: hmmmm are we going the right way? make a few phone calls to verify, took a right way but not the shortest right way

9:22: am calling Lindsey Eich trying to figure out where to go, Keller is shouting from the back of the van that he NEEDS the song "hop hop hippity" on again, which is like auditory Chinese water torture for an adult.

9:25: heading in the right direction, boys decided they are starving and need snacks...i am learning to throw food items in the very back seat to Keller and Bradley.

9:35: slow slow interstate travel, finally exit

10:00: arrive at Lazy Five Ranch, all three boys have spotted a playground on the premises and have consistent dialogue of wanting to go there...non stop verbal request for the entire 15 minutes waiting in line to get to the park...trying to draw attention to the cows in the field instead...no interest...

10:15: find friends and wagon...sarah and i both having braxton hick contractions causing severe need to urinate...only bathrooms just invaded by 150 school aged kids

10:25: get on wagon, boys have feed buckets w food and are content

10:26: Keller suddenly gets a flash of that playground, internal question of "why am i here when i could be there?" external question for the next 40 minutes in the wagon "mommy, when can we get off and go to that playground?" "mommy, when can we get off and go to that playground?" "mommy, when can we get off and go to that playground" (annoying to read huh...try listening to it for 40 minutes while gross cows are licking your hands trying to get the food)

10:35: Coleman is into throwing anything at all, so food to animals count for awhile. Then he starts his "i dont like that...." emu, cow, fill in the blank-whatever animal happened to be in his line of vision, became offensive to him.

10:40: i am freezing, it is cold, cloudy. Keller decided that since his playground mission is failing, his next priority is to keep warm so he basically is folded in my lap and legs. Don't worry, Coleman is sitting on my "lap" as well. Trying to envoke excitement for the animals

10:43 I spot the zebras which I decide I really would appreciate as a rug in my living room

10:45 have great hard core laugh when a yak or something big and hairy with a long tongue starts licking Sarah's ankles...I have never seen a 40 week pregnant woman move so fast

10:55 "Keller, if you mention the word playground one more time, you will watch Bradley and Coleman play from the van" this actually worked.

11:20: wagon ride is over. kids are free. Boys run to the playground, sarah runs to the bathroom, my turn next

12:05 need to be back by 1:00, drag three unhappy boys to the van..they really wanted to stay...for lunch in the car

12:15 all boys have food, drinks, books and are strapped in.

12:15-1:20 is a bit of a blur to me...i think perhaps there was (not kidding) two minutes of everyone in the van content. The rest of the time consisted of Keller and Bradley arguing, Coleman crying bc the alphabet song that was playing was not (according to him) the alphabet song, Sarah and I trying to ignore our children, Keller spilling his snack (reaction- the equivalent of an adult losing all of their 401K savings), Keller and Bradley thinking it is funny to shout "moooooommmmmy" for 15 minutes, going 25 mph on the interstate, dropping of a crying Bradley bc he could not close the door, me reminding sarah to remind me not to do this next year. Pulling into our driveway envious of whatever Jeremy happens to be doing at the time

2:00 my two sweet boys and I cuddling on the chair, reading their life story "where the wild things are"

2:05 Coleman asleep

2:25 Keller asleep

2:30 Mommy asleep

A Norman Rockwell Christmas

pictures: The only decor I got up, Keller turning off the movie, the boys armed and dangerous and jumping off the stairs

A CHRISTMAS MOMENT

I have been a seasoned enough parent to have very low expectations when planning "fun family time" (or forced family fun as my family called it). I decided tonight we would have our first annual "white family christmas party." We would make gingerbread cookies (a sure hit due to the recent obsession w the gingerbread man), have a fire, and watch the classic Rudolph the Rednose Reindeer, while mother dearest decorated the house w tidings of comfort and joy....

I made the cookie dough during the boys naps. When they arose, i covered our kitchen table with flour, gave them each a ball of dough and told them to pound it hard so we could use the gingerbread man cookie cutter. Keller did get into this part, but kept trying to make the cookie with about a 4 inch high dough ball, Coleman on the other hand, apparently thought I had gathered a pile of poop for him to play in because he would not even touch it. He kept saying "i dont like that, noooooo, i dont like that, get it away!" Keller eventually lost interest in the cutting, and decorating the gingerbread men could not compete with actually getting to eat the craisons (buttons).

After dinner, we got out the decorations. The one obnoxious-loud-song-dancing item we had, was a huge hit...until 1/2 way through the first round of jingle bells, it died. We changed the batteries (twice) to no avail... the boys were most upset by this and could not understand why we could not fix the "decoration."

ok, time for the movie...cookies in the oven, we begin the movie. This holds Keller's interest for about 3 minutes, Coleman about 48 seconds. However, they did love the cookies. So much, that Coleman decided he needed to hoard them all while Keller screamed bloody murder "he stooooooooole my cooooooooooooooooookie." Coleman proceeded to give Keller the loot and held onto his cookie, licking it for 30 minutes (not kidding)...this only added to Keller's torture as he had finished his in 30 seconds.

Halfway through the movie, that at this point only Jeremy was watching, I decide to be productive and start decorating. This is when both boys grabbed my gold sticks, declared them swords...and well, there goes the rest of the night. Not even Christmas can compete with a good sword fight. The boys jumped off the stairs, screaming, and waving their "swords". This was longest most loved activity of the night....

I can't help but wonder, if I had two girls, instead of two boys, if we would still all be curled up by the fire, sweetly and quietly watching the Christmas show...I guess i'll never know. Life is certainly non-stop with these two boys but watching them love life in their own boy way, is the best "Christmas moment" I could hope for.

Election Morning Predictions

the wound, the weapon

 
 

Tongue Clippers

To my three loyal blog readers...sorry it has been so long since I've written...it's been a slow,long three months, but I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel...

So, a couple of days ago, I was tired of the boys fighting, tired of having Jeremy gone on the weekends, and just tired in general...then we discovered "tongue clippers." Tongue clippers are actually just metal tongs, but Keller for some reason declared them "tongue clippers"....and the name stuck. Bored of real toys in the playroom,the boys discovered (with my help...ok- really I handed them to them) the tongs. It really was the longest-played-with-non-fighting toy they had in ages. The best part is that I actually had two, so they werent forced to learn to share every two minutes. They would tongue clip the carpet in the play room(translation: pick up dust mites from carpet nasty), tongue clip random toys and put them in piles (translation: pick up toys from the selection of 50 on the floor and move them from one pile that would not be picked up to another pile that would not be picked up), and even wanted to sleep with the tongue clippers- they each separately asked to do this...here, I did draw the line.

Last night, with Coleman on my lap tongue clipping blocks, and Keller tongue clipping small books suddenly I see this flash of metal and feel a pain in the middle of my forehead. Coleman had missed a block, arm swung up and cut me with the top of the tongs...ouch! I immediately assess my wound and determine a butterfly bandaid should do the trick, I was suprised at how deep it was. As I am scurrying around trying to heal myself Keller and Coleman are both screaming...not because mommy dearest has been wounded...but because in about 2.25 seconds after the incident, I managed to declare our house "tongue clipper free" and replaced the tongs back where they belong...in a kitchen drawer. They were soon distracted however, by the butterfly bandaide placed vertically down the smack dab center of my forehead...our dialogue the rest of the night went something like this:

Coleman: what happened Mommy?
Me: you know what happened.
Coleman: tongue clippers Mommy.
Keller: now Mommy took them away but maybe we'll get more, right Mommy?

one minutes later

Coleman: What happened Mommy?
Me: you know what happened.....

anyways, you get the point- I certainly did...right in my forehead.

Funny faces

Sometimes, nothing is funnier than a smashed face. I found the boys mashing their faces against the mesh in coleman's pack and play. Of course, the more I laughed the greater the performance got. I remember my sister and I hard-core-stomach-ugly-face laughing when we would put panty hose on our heads...perhaps I should pick up a pair of Legs nylons for our next plane ride.

Keys to successful airplane trips w kids: laughter, low expectations, and most importantly LOLLIPOPS!

We just landed about about four hours ago from our beachtrip to texas. Being a seasoned traveler with young children, I have concluded there are some things that are a MUST. They are as follows:

1. LAUGHTER
A sense of humor is a must when traveling with young children. Why should I be surprised when Keller (after being asked for hours at the airport) announces he has to poop as we are taxing so the plane stops moving and waits for him to do business (you should have seen that stare from the stewardess). I wanted to tell her "lady, better to wait 30 seconds than have to clean up the mess on the seat..."
My great idea of bringing crayons on the trip (both boys actually liked them during our trip) ended up Coleman drawing on the barf bag for 1.245 seconds, then screaming bloody murder when I would not let him draw on the tray table.

2. LOW EXPECTATIONS
When I first started travelling with Keller, my expectations were way too high. I pictured him being content in my arms, or when older reading books and coloring. Not so much now. Presently, if no one outside of family is exposed to the boys poop and if we all land and still love each other and want to vacate together...I consider this a truly successful flight.

My expectations for the airlines as well have shifted extremely to the low end. I dont know if it is me or what, but when I was single and married without kids...all my flights were ontime, taxing for 45 minutes was unheard of, i dont recall ever hearing "well folks, looks like we've got about 25 planes ahead of us for take off...," and the beverage and snack option was enjoyable. Now, I expect delays on at least one of our flights, taxing for hours is a definite, and the beverage is me shot-gunning my water before little hands can get to it.

3. LOLLIPOPS
I caved...bring on the sugar is my song on days of travel. You want a lollipop kid? here, take 14. This was hands down the best part of my day. Both boys with "pops" in hands and mom relaxing for the first time all day.

number two times two

This past weekend, Jeremy's youngest brother, Andy, FINALLY decided to join us wiser ones down the marriage journey. The White clan gathered in Greenville,SC to celebrate. We were at a great hotel which the boys LOVED. Friday the guys played golf, which translates into Mommy watches boys all day. We had just finished enjoying playing outside in the 97 degree heat, arrived to our rooms sweaty and tired, ready for afternoon naps. The boys earlier, had discovered this mirrored closet w sliding doors, which they played "cabin" in. Endless minutes of entertainment. I gave each of them a granola bar and they played "cabin" while I got their sleeping arrangements settled. Coleman was also diaper-free (i promise for no more than 2 minutes) bc i was looking for his butt paste. This is when I noticed something on Colemans foot, that looked suspiciously like a granola bar, yet much smoother..hmmmm, not looking good. Upon further inspection, my fear was true. Coleman w granola bar in one hand and smeared poop on a foot...I looked for the treasure and found it in the closet w footprints all over the nasty hotel rug. Ok, I blame myself, I should have know not to leave him bare for even a minute. Unfortunately, I forgot my carpet and steam cleaner that I usually always carry w me on vacation...so I clean up as best I can. In the middle of my cleaning, Keller tells me he has to poop. He just went about an hour ago by himself, so I tell him "go poop then." He leaves then comes back about 20 sec later. Standing no more than 5 yards from me, he tells me again "moooommmmmmy I have to (grunt grunt grunt). By the time I turn around ( I am on my hands and knees cleaning up younger white boy poop) he had not only produced a nice pile about 6 inches high, but thought it would be a good idea to intercept the product with his hand. Basically, by the time I ran over, throwing down coleman's poopy washcloth, his entire hand, butt and leg were COVERED. I immediately throw him in the shower yet the "chunks" (if you will) were so big they would not go down the drain so I am throwing them into the toilet, asking Keller why he did not listen to me, keller is screaming, coleman is...well not sure, forgot about him for the time being...and jeremy is likely somewhere on the 17th hole....I think this fall, I'll be taking up golf.

here are some pics of our days at camp...the dining hall, chapel, and our first attempt at the new climbing tower-keller was more interested in holding the rope:)

 

Pee-pee wanna-be

Keller has mastered "awake" potty training. He still wears diapers during the night, but is GREAT during the day. About a week ago, we were finishing lunch in the dining hall, when he told me he had to pee. I figured since he was a boy, we are in the woods, and our house was two hills away, he could go outside. He asked me "do construction men do this?" hmmmmm.....Well, apparantly this experience was one Keller wanted to repeat daily. There have been many times when I look out the window in the dining hall, and see Keller sprinkling the woods with his love. Now, Coleman wants to do the same thing. Whenever he sees Keller doing this, he'll run up to him, grab his own "area" and say "bruder pee pee, I pee pee, I pee pee."

A couple of days ago, Coleman and I were in the playroom, Keller was still sleeping, when Coleman spotted Keller's underwear in a pile of clean laundry. Coleman brings them to me saying "bruder pee pee, bruder pee" and obviously wants to wear them,so I put them on over his diaper. Something tells me, he'll be easy to pottytrain.

Colorful Language

About a month ago, I was driving solo with the boys to camp when I decided to be a "fun mom" and stop off at the 1/2 way marker Chic-fil-A. Not such a fun mom that I would actually let them get out of the car and play on the playground(quick to the destination was my goal), but fun enough to let them eat a meal that consisted of all brown fried items. This particular chic-fil-a is located off a two lane highway and you can only get to it from one direction without having to do a u-turn. To make a long story short, I somehow missed the turn, and had to turn around at which point I blurt out "dangit!"
Immediately from the back seat, little "dangit dangit dangits" are filling the air. I decide the best solution is to completely ignore Keller. This works for the time being, however over the next couple of weeks, he would insert his new found word every now and then...with no reaction from me.

A couple of weeks ago, at camp, i was making breakfast for the boys. Keller has been in a "watch me mom" stage, which is usually something completely breathtaking like him waving his hand next to his mouth...stunning i know. So I hear "watch me mom" and turn around to see what amazing feat he has accomplished.

"DANGIT DANGIT DANGIT DANGIT DANGIT!" Keller proudly verbalized.
no reaction from mom.
"DANGIT DANGIT DANGIT DANGIT DANGIT!"
okay, enough is enough, let's stop this, i think

me "Keller, big boys DO NOT say dangit." (he is very into doing what big boys do NOT babies)

keller: "do babies say dangit?"
me: "no,mean people say dangit."
uh oh...i knew this was coming...

keller: "but MOMMY said dangit!"

instead of going into flesh vs spirit and how we do what we dont want to do and what we dont want to do we do...i decide to make a simple
"yes, and mommy asked for forgiveness for being mean."

since that conversation, we have been "dangit"- free....good thing I am not into
f-bombs.

C'mon ride that train....that potty train

> Upon our arrival to camp, I decided enough was enough....diapers that is. My primary reason for beginning hard core potty training was the cost of diapers....much more expensive than even the cutest pair of elmo undies.

Day One: all about the reward system. I figured since Keller rarely gets any candy, this would be a super easy bribe. One piece of candy for pee, two for poop. We start the morning out on the potty every ten minutes, wearing the nice tighty whities in between. I guess Keller thought that play time was on the toilet, and pee time was immediately after he left the throne, bc that seemed to be the morning routine. He did pee in his
underware, and the first time he did it, he was very uncomfortable, immediately screaming for me to change him. I thought this was a good thing which could possible lead to less underware accidents. After three hours of being inside, we ventured around our cabin...Keller displaying his lovely eye for fashion as seen in the photos. Still every ten minutes on the potty w my constant verbal review of "if you have that feeling....tell mommy, go to the potty." He could pretty much quote me on this. Once out in nature, Keller had ZERO interest in anything having to do w the potty train. In fact, I left for two minutes, came back and he had not only peed but pooped in his underware and could have cared less. When I began to enlighten him w my potty training wisdom, he looked at me and raised his stick (sorry...staff) and screamed "I AM PHAROAH! THIS IS MY STAFF!!!!!" That's right pharoah...we are going to need some serious divine intervention on this one....

sweet reunion

We made the move to camp! It has been a fairly easy transition from the city to the mountains. We are getting used to being dirty and hot all the time. Last weekend, I took a trip to the beach for a womens retreat w our church back in charlotte. it was an amazing weekend, great time to relax and hang out w friends. It was also alot of driving for me, two hours from camp to charlotte then four hours from charlotte to kiawah. Needless to say, on sunday, i was VERY ready to see my boys. As I was driving into the mountains, i was picturing in my head what our reunion would be like. I knew I would be arriving around dinner time, so i planned on going straight to the dining hall where the camp staff and my family would be. I imagined sweet keller, running across the cafeteria yelling "mommmy, mommy, i missed you and i love you!" coleman (who is more of a momma's boy) would likely due something to the tune of "mommy mommmy mommy" and run and want me to hold him and never let go...ahhh parting is such sweet sorrow....but the reunion sweeter still...

reality:
i pull up to the dining hall and keller is outside w jeremy w a water hose in his hand. I get out of the car.
"Keller-oh I missed you" (advancing toward him)

Keller...blank stare (hello, does he not at least recognize me???)
"keller, come give me a hug"
jeremy: "Keller, give mommy a hug"

slow slow steps, then w a huge wave of emotion shouts " i habe (have) a gun, i habe a gun"

excuse me??? the water-hose-turned-gun was apparently much more exciting than the womans who birthed him arrival.

ok, perhaps i can get a bit more from coleman. I walk into the cafeteria and there is my precious boy sitting in his high chair, we immediately make eye contact and he starts screaming (keep in mind too that this is in front of an audience...50 new camp staff had arrived since i left on friday). I run to him, unstrap him and start hugging him. He in turn squirms out of my arms and yells "daddy daddy daddy" as he starts running around the dining hall....

this sweet reunion is likely bringing tears to your eyes, so i'll stop now...
maybe next time, I'll stay two extra days....and WHY was i in such a rush to get home????

Coleman is talking non-stop, i think he is just trying to catch up w his big brother. About a month ago, i looked over and saw him standing on the table in the den. I told him "coleman, get down." He looked at me with those big eyes and said "why?" I was so stunned that he knew that word that I was speechless. Since then that question seems to follow everything I tell him to do. Initially I started to try to explain "why" to him, then I decided that he is 15mos old and does not need an explanation.

although he knows i am mommy, for some reason he has taken to calling me daddy. when i leave the room, he'll yell "daddy are dooo?" (translation "mommy where are you?") i have told him again and again that i am mommy and he'll say "mommy" until a demand needs to be met, or we are in public...so everyone thinks he is very attached to daddy.

Keller has taken up "construction" in the form of the tape measure. He LOVES it and measures the house, his toys, himself...the other day i was standing in the spot where i spend 90%of my life (in front of the kitchen sink) and i look over my shoulder and see a tape measure spreading the width of my bottom....keller looks up and declares "mommy, that's too big..."....thanks keller, perhaps i should start doing some squats while washing dishes....

More pictures w our personal photographer Hope

Good people to know on a personal level: a pediatrician, an OBGYN, a massage therapist, and a photographer. I was zero for zero until my good friend Hope, decided that she wanted to pursue her photography passion...and here are some of the results of that. We had a great time w her. She took 150 pics so it's hard to narrow down my favorites but here are a few....

there but for the grace of Him

i am aware. aware of my own mess. aware that i will not be the perfect parent. aware that there is no perfect parent and perfection should not be a goal. aware that there will be issues that i will instill in my children that will cause them pain. who can save me from this wretchedness? praise be to God!...i had a friend who is pregnant w her first child ask me to jot down tips or any advice i could give her about parenting. the only thing that i could think of was that having children is like having a mirror lifted up and constantly exposing parts of you that were previously dormant. children will bring out both your best and your worst. revealing the amazing capacity you have for love and the amazing capacity you have for sin. children (like marriage) are a vehicle of redemption. i did not know i was angry until i had kids. It was revealed in my "mirror". I know that God can redeem this in me but man, being exposed hurts. it is much easier to continue to live in the denial of our own sinfulness and hurt in this world. but freedom does not exist there. redemption does not exist there and relationship as we long for does not exist there. i believe one of the best gifts i can give my children is my own sense of self. That ultimately i am more sinful than i dared believed, yet more loved than i dared hope and we are a part of something much bigger than ourselves. so why am i writing this for anyone and everyone to read? honestly, i dont know. it is just one of those thoughtful days....

i'll try for a funny story later on :) or at least some cute pics of the boys

More spring pics...

The boys playing in a box on a rainy day in April
coleman LOVES keller's bike
i caved....note the monogram. no one will wonder whose outfit it is :)